40岁了。。。

Time fly... 40 years old already... so fast!!

After few weeks of thinking, finally made up my mind, to buy myself a valuable present.

If I do not love myself who will love me? If I do not take care of myself, who will take care of me?!

This is my 3rd Birthday present that I bought for myself. The first two were a polo watch (2005) and a sporty watch (2013)....(^O^)

I should write in Mandarin, but my phone was having problem, tried few times, it came out error. Not good in English writing... 

After today, I feel I had made up right decision to love myself. Noone will appreciate me for what I did for my family. They take for granted.

I am having high pay, I should pay more, pay for others. But Noone think that I am a single mother, after paying all the loans, insurance, girl‘s fee, housefund, etc.. how much I left for myself? Yes, I am having higher pay than my two sisters, but don't forget, they are not single mother, they have husband to support them. Their husband and wife salary is more than mine.. a single mother‘s salary.

Some more if they are happy, sad, worry.. there is always someone to support them, a shoulder for them to cry on.. what do I have?

I am sure 大伯母、二姨、姑姑will not say the same words to their daughters as what you said to me just now. This is why they can earn a very close relationship between mother and daughter,  having non stop topic to talk with. This is why you always complain we all three sisters will not call you and talk. We do not know how to communicate with you.

I admit I am having high pay compare with sisters, but I need to start to save money for Joanne‘s study.

Don‘t blame me for being stingy.. I need to think of my girl‘s future now, She is 11 now..another 6 to 7 years will be her college study. I have to back up her.

Actually with your rental, and father‘s retired salary, you are much much much high pay than me because you do not have any other commitments. And it is your net income. Your net income is equal to my gross income after EPF and income tax. So who is more high pay now? You do not need to pay house loan, school fee, and kids who is still study.

Please start do love yourself with the income, dont spend unnecessary thing to us, I would not appreciate for what you did to me. I know you pay for the car porch renovation for me. But this is not I want. I have the money, but I will not pay you back this time. After I paid for the kitchen renovation 4 years ago, I started from zero again. And the saving is for emergency used.

I have been planning all the holidays for both of you, even I only pay for the tickets, and sometimes share with 2 sisters.. But you please think back, it cost me sometimes few thousand for four of us just for a short holiday. Do your other kids plan you a holiday or buy you any tickets? 

I am not good and filial, but I have done my best which you think is only kacang putih. And you think I should do more. 

I have to start to love myself now. Sorry for being selfish. I have to express my feeling here as noone would listen to me. 

*****
A first Birthday present from someone special....
(-_^)